Smells

 My last post mentioned a mishap with a Camembert. I knew nothing back then. But it then led me to recall the predecessor incident, where I knew even less. Living where we did, we would frequently take picnics and spend the days in the Lake District where us kids would roam free in the forests and woods having a great time. Mum and Dad would often set up base near the car and me and my sisters would go exploring. This was the 70s where we children had much more freedom and there were less health and safety rules haha. 

Anyway, this hot hot hot day, we were playing, not far from the car, we were kept an eye on, and I said to my sisters, let’s pick some of these pretty white flowers as a surprise for Mum. We were probably playing Red Riding Hood!

Armfuls we gathered. Armfuls. And when mum and dad were not looking we hid our treasures in the car. In the boot and some under the seats. Gleeful with our bounty and the look of surprise on mum’s face when we gifted her ALL the flowers.  

Oh my stars. It was a hot hot hot day, and the stench in the car was beyond anything else we’d ever encountered. I remember my dad swearing at my mum in the front - along the lines of…what the bloody hell is that smell? It was rank and putrid. I can retch and gag just thinking about it. Happy days. 

Can you guess what type of flowers we had gathered? 

I have always had a sensitive sense of smell I guess. Not that sensitive however or regard for my poor Dad if you fast forward a few years to when I and my friend discovered fake perfume parties. My go to scent was Loulou, hers was opium. We would get ready for a night out and my dad would give us a lift into town. Getting ready included

Having a bath loaded with Fake Loulou bubble bath, I’d wash myself with Fake Loulou soap, wash my hair with Fake Loulou shampoo and condition it with Fake Loulou conditioner. I’d then use my Fake Loulou talc, body lotion, deodorant and body spray. Once dressed, there’d be a liberal application of Fake Loulou perfume. Across the road, my friend would be doing the same with her Fake Opium products. I think I also had a set of Fake Obsession and she had Fake Poison. Sadly they didn’t do hairspray so it was mixed with a whole can of extra hold hair lacquer. It was the mid to late 80s. I had hair that needed back combing to within an inch of it’s life! 

Anyway we would emerge into my Dad’s car in a cloud of toxic Fake chemicals! We thought we were ‘it’.  My dad’s COPD was probably set off by this overpowering olfactory offence ! 

Fast forward a few more years to morning sickness when I was pregnant with Miss 27. I had terrible morning sickness and any scent would set me off retching and gagging. I couldn’t stand the smell of cleaning products, pledge or mr sheen polish, the duster, even the thought of picking up the duster would set me off. Even the smell from the hot tap running would set me off.  I couldn’t Hoover, use deodorant, wash up, clean. Couldn’t eat anything apart from an apple maybe if it had been cut up and washed in cold water. I couldn’t stand the smell of the fridge opening. We once got on the bus and I was doing ok until a rather unhygienic person got on and I started heaving and retching. The HG was mortified haha and we had to get off the bus at the next stop! I couldn’t be near the kettle when it was boiling because the smell of the steam would set me off. THE SMELL OF THE STEAM!!!! 

Now I’m still a little sensitive and only like certain cleaning products and personal scents. I much prefer a citrus based scent to a floral based one. Funnily enough I’m perfectly fine with Madam Bluebell and she can get VERY stinky.

Did you have any smelly mishaps in life? I’d love to hear about it!